Sunday, February 17, 2013

Parenting With Wisdom and Heart

Rate this: 

My husband Gerard and I have been passionate about parenting ever since we were gifted with our firstborn son, Miguel, about 14 years ago. 

Since there were no instruction manuals that came with our child, we looked to parenting seminars and classes as the closest thing to a parenting manual or guide. 

For us, these are the best and the most comprehensive source of information.

We didn’t want to just rely on our instincts and our personal experiences from our parents, family members, and other people. 

We wanted to make sure that we have the right foundational knowledge and skills to help us 'train up our child in the way that he should go.’ (Proverbs 22:6)


Even after two more children came, we still continued to pursue this passion. 

Now that they are grown tweens and teen, we believe that parenting seminars are even more important to us today than ever before.

My kids' school, Domuschola International School, in cooperation with the Parents Organization, ran a parenting seminar last October 26 in Valle Verde 1 Clubhouse titled ‘Facing Today’s Parenting Challenges with Wisdom and Heart’. 

This is the school’s first this year.

The seminar centered on child development, temperaments, and multiple intelligences and how to discipline and motivate our children based on these areas. 

It also focused on the different parenting styles, and touched briefly on family visioning and creating a family mission statement.

The speakers, husband and wife team Herald and Melissa Cruz from the Center for Family Ministries (CEFAM), taught not just based on scientific research and findings, but also shared their learnings culled from their own experiences of parenting that worked for their children.

The concept that stood out for us in this seminar is the discipling nature of parenting. 

It painted for us a picture of parents helping their children to know their ways, and training them to develop a life of excellence

Discipline required only 20% talking but 80% modeling. 


It is a process of teaching our children to learn appropriate behaviors, and ultimately, to make good choices in life.

Our kids won the Kiddo-Preneur Bazaar Summer 2012 

Most useful in this seminar to us was the letter-writing activity. We were asked to make two letters. One letter was made with our weaker hand as if we were our children, and one was made with our stronger hand meant for our children as their parents. 

It brought tears to our eyes to be in our children’s shoes and feeling their emotions when we discipline them negatively or are not motivating them the right way. 

This is a very strong and effective way of understanding and showing empathy to our children. 

Also useful were the practical ideas that came out of the discussions, such as establishing non-negotiables when making rules in the household, disciplining appropriately based on age, brain, and motor development, and the value of natural and logical consequences in child discipline.

What was most memorable to us was disciplining our children in the digital age. 

Understanding the idea that our children are born into the digital age and parents being just migrants, made us see how important the gadgets are in their lives more than in ours. 

Gadgets are essentially integrated seamlessly into their way of life, as opposed to us using these only in our professional work or as entertainment. 

We came to realize that when we discipline our children, the time to take away their privilege of using their computers or mobile phones or PSPs should be short-term and definitive, rather than long term and indefinite. 

This makes more sense to us. 

Gadgets are not anymore a privilege for them, rather, a necessity. 

Taking these away from them would be similar to taking away food, or in extreme parallel, depriving them of breathing. For them, it can be devastating.

When parents shared their challenges, we all heaved huge sighs of relief!

We all know that this is hard to do on our own, and we appreciate that we are not alone!

What we observed to be beneficial to most parents is making the family mission statement. 

Gerard and I made our vision statement several years back and we update our vision board yearly since our brood are growing. 

This helped us immensely as a family in pursuing our goals, relationships, and priorities in our life. 

Everything that we did and continue to do are intentional and consistent with our family vision and mission.
  
Family bonding time at "Family of Supers" Camp 2012. We won Best Costume!                 

We believed that this is essential for every couple to make and that they need to do this initially as a couple for their family. 

This is to set the tone of the values, principles, and goals that are important to them as they need to impart these to their children. 

Having children from all age groups and being parents for 14 years, we thought that we were already trained and experienced parents. 

This seminar has proven us that parenting is something that cannot be perfected. It is continuously evolving, since our kids are growing, and changing, as well.

Enjoying & having fun at the photo booth in the family camp
With proper training and education from parenting seminars like this, we can build off from our foundation of knowledge and make easier and efficient our natural parenting instincts and skills. 

After all, this is a fruitful investment to make because it is for the benefit of our children and our relationship with them. 

The benefits can last a lifetime; the effects are priceless! 

We just wish that the school run parenting seminars like this one more often every year. 

"And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.
You shall teach them diligently to your children,
and shall talk of them when you sit in your house,
and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down,
and when you rise."
- Deuteronomy 6:6-7

"Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger,
but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."
Ephesians 6:4


Blogger's Note: Domuschola International School is a progressive international school accredited and certified by the Switzerland-based International Baccalaureate Organization. It is located in Dormitory I, Philsports Complex, Molave Street, Barangay Ugong, Pasig City. You may contact DIS via their phone numbers: (632) 635 9743, (632) 635 2002 or email them at info@dis.edu.ph or visit their website: http://www.dis.edu.ph

Keep Walking!

LENY

No comments:

Post a Comment